I Stand With You, Not Against You

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Oh hello there, it’s been a little while, the holidays had me focused on relaxing and enjoying my time with loved ones…so after a little time off, here I am! (crowd goes wild) My first post of 2015 is an important message for every lovely lady out there.  Recently I was in ear shot of some unbelievably horrible behavior involving human beings… (hold onto your seat) this is a hard one to guess… it was a bunch of women. (can you believe it? insert shocked face here)…my own kind, my sisters? my partners in crime? my role models? Now, I am not going to get deep into the story but I can tell you it involves women being cruel, catty, having no confidence (which makes me sad) and just being super mean. It has nothing to do with me mind you, just something I witnessed, but I am so sick of this dreadful behavior and need to discuss it.

 Now I have been exposed to this behavior before many times by women around me, (even my own so-called friends) I have been treated badly or been an outcast because of someone else insecurity issues…(I am sure many of you all have experienced this) but never a victim mind you, for I am and always have been confident (not cocky or arrogant) just simply confident. I did not get that confidence from the teachings of my Mother, Sister, Aunt or any role model actually. I found it in myself (go me! woo hoo) I have a handful of nieces and friends with daughters… I wonder will they learn that confidence is key, kindness is a must and loving yourself is the most important love ever.  So as the new year begins I have a little something that I would like to share, I hope it gives you all something to hold onto, practice and preach.

 Learn how to give and except compliments from and to other women. 

Try it, nothing bad is going to happen.. you won’t melt, your tongue won’t fall off and your teeth will stay intact, open up your mouth smile and say something nice. Maybe you only like getting compliments, OK than…well think about how it makes you feel, why would you not want to share that feeling? When a woman compliments another woman, that shows confidence & strength. Weakness and insecurity, well that is putting another woman down.. it takes way more energy to be angry/mean than kind and thoughtful. let’s be role models: get it into your heads, there will always be someone prettier, richer, funnier, happier, stronger (I can keep going here) that does not mean that we are less or that they are better.

My favorite line is “oh she does not need it”, or “she already knows” (let’s say she is super model gorgeous) oh OK really… how do you know?… what if she gets a hundred compliments a day but the only one that matters is yours?! Women don’t dress up for men, women dress up for other women…they are looking for your approval. I give out compliments all day long and I mean them, I don’t just throw them around (nothing ever backhanded) I call it as I see it, if you are fabulous or have done something awesome, I am going to tell you and that is it.  I have made people cry by just saying something nice…. I won’t and can’t stop ever. It’s the best feeling in the world making someone else’s day.

And please learn how to take a compliment, just say “Thank you” We women have this odd urge to do this…… oh my hair is off, or I have bags under my eyes, or I am so bloated… just say “thank you” It is OK to be appreciated, admired and doted on.  Enjoy it, take it in and soak it up!

Can we stop treating each other like rivals? 

 I noticed an abundance of no love and support toward other women even on social media. Some women can take all the support and compliments a person can muster, but never ever return it. If you like someone’s work, art, photos, or blog. If you think they are lovely…tell them, follow them, support them. In order to live a positive life, you need to spread positive vibes and give back. I so wish everyone would give it a try, the worst thing that could happen is you make someone’s day and you might find your self smiling from ear to ear.

I am not your competition, you are not mine!

Start saying that phrase  over and over until it sinks in.  The truth remains, most women/girls treat each other like bitter rivals. Now not every woman is like this, I certainly am not and I know plenty of wonderful woman & you my reader maybe one of them. So for 2015, how about we stop criticizing each other’s personalities? No more comparing ourselves to other woman. Let’s put and end to being jealous or un-happy when another woman accomplishes something wonderful. Stop shaming each other and enough with being fake already!..oh and stop being a green-eyed monster (um, if you have green eyes, then just stop being a monster!)  Let’s start supporting, complimenting and celebrating each other. We are a team ladies, and well… there is no I in team.


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